IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

Nowadays many big cities have become overcrowded. Why is it happening, in your opinion? What measures could be taken to prevent it?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Model Answer:

One of the paramount contentious issues today relates to the overcrowding of cosmopolitan cities. In this essay, the causes of overcrowding in the big cities will be proffered by me, and I will also explicate upon the remedies, reaching a reasoned conclusion.

Overcrowding of the monumental cities can be caused by myriads of factors. Political instability, and or insurgency in certain areas, lack of good jobs in the countryside, and educational tourism are some of the  reasons why cities can become overcrowded. For instance, when there is political instability and insurgency, people migrate to cities that are safe; thus, leading to overcrowding of such cities. Furthermore, most people will prefer to travel to cities where there are state-of the-art facilities to obtain quality education. Thus, all these reasons contribute to the overcrowding of big cities, that have excellent facilities and good jobs.

However, there are some solutions to these problems. Firstly, since education is a cynosure to a successful economy, there should be more funds apportioned for education in rural areas. In fact, every effort should be made by the government to provide up to date facilities in all schools. By doing so, educational tourism can be minimized. Secondly, a large number of jobs can be provided to the youth by shifting the focus on production of goods rather than importation. This will increase the number of industries in remote areas where people can be employed. Besides, in order to reduced insurgency, leaders should ensure they fulfil their campaign promises, and place priorities on the needs of the people; this in turn will prevent conflicts that may brew from remonstration.

After having elucidated the pertinent points of this issue, I opine that migration caused by political instability, lack of good jobs, and educational tourism, are some of the main reasons why cities can become overcrowded, and this problem can be solved by good governance.

 

Total Words: 313

Task Achievement: 9

Coherence & Cohesion: 9

Lexical resources: 9

Grammar: 9

Overall Score: Band 9

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2 Comments
  1. jay 3 weeks ago

    how did this become a 9 ? like all 9 ..lol The writer was like someone i know —VERY TRYING HARD…

    • Hi Jay,

      Yes, it does look like the writer was trying a bit too hard to impress the examiner :) The language could’ve been simpler to improve readability of the essay.

      However, the arguments were well thought out and extended with supporting arguments. The writer also has a good range of vocabulary and grammar.

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