IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer: Crime prevention (Band 9)

IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Write at least 250 words.

Model Answer:

One of the highly controversial issues today relates to that of crime prevention. While some people believe that government should take the responsibility for crime prevention, some others think that every person should be responsible for their safety and defend themselves against crime. This essay discusses why self-protection is very important but why the role of government is more efficient in preventing crime. 

Self-defense is certainly one of the most efficient ways to avoid crime. Mastering certain techniques like Kungfu, Karate, Boxing can definitely help a common man protect himself and his family from criminals. For instance, in Japan, achieving a black belt in Karate is mandatory for every student because people believe in making students independent. Thus, students are made to undergo such training so that they are able to protect themselves from an unforeseen incidence of violence or crime. Thus, it is easy to see why it is important to be independent and hold responsibility for preventing any criminal activity.

However, not everyone can be independent, and also, the intensity of crime can be quite high. In such situations, if government tightens the rules and ensures that the police department is proactive, definitely everyone fears the punishments and tends to stay away from crime. For example, a recent survey showed that the main reason for 0.2% crime rate in the USA is ridiculously strict rules and an intensely proactive criminal department. Thus, it goes without saying that the government has a major responsibility in preventing crime. 

Reducing the crime rate is very important for creating a safe and peaceful environment in the country. This essay discussed why people should learn to be independent and acquire some self-defense techniques; nonetheless, the role of government is more important in reducing crime. In my opinion, the rules framed by the government are more efficient than self-defense in preventing crime. 

 

Total Words: 250

Task Achievement: 9

Coherence & Cohesion: 9

Lexical resources: 9

Grammar: 9

Overall Score: Band 9

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1 Comment
  1. hazem 3 weeks ago

    dear sir, I shall be grateful if you mark my essay about this topic:

    Crime prevention is one of the most contentious arguments piqued in the recent decades. Some reckon responsibility relies on the government to take measures such as ensuing strict legislations however, society might has its own share of crime prevention as I contend to argue in this essay.
    It is an indisputable fact the government is the basic defender of societal serenity against violence represented in multiple foundations for instance, the police department, Forensic department and juridical organization. Governments have the manpower, financial support and jurisdiction on account of imposing law and order so; the responsibility relies on the government. Another significant advantage the government has control on which is the education system which I believe is the most imperative thing in crime prevention on the long run; boosting population moral fiber is the impetus of crime prevention, a look at crime rates in the countries with the best education systems comparing to others provides us the evidence.
    Nonetheless, in the world of today with a relatively high crime rates setting back and depending solely on government for fighting crimes might not be the best choice hence, it is in my belief that individuals should have the ability to protect themselves against possible crimes provided the fact that being able to protect oneself entails the right for holding firearm which on the contrary boosts crimes rates.
    By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my belief that despite the fact that governments hold the responsibility of preserving security of society, individuals should not forsake their right of having firearms to attain self defense ability.

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