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IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Write at least 250 words.

Model Answer:

Nowadays, children have become addicted to electronic items, and also tend to give more importance to their friends and favourite music. Although many argue that these parameters have potential effects on a child's growth, I strongly believe that family plays a vital role in building a child's character. This essay will shed light on both these views.



On one hand, some factors such as television, friends, and music are believed to be have more influence on children. For instance, news reports shown on television keep children updated with latest information around the world. Besides, children also obtain inspiration by watching talent shows on TV. Apart from television, children spend plenty of time with their friends and like listening to music. Friendship teaches them how to be supportive and now maintain trust. Moreover, another benefit music is that it keeps children calm and focused on their studies.

On the other hand, the formation of a child's personality is mostly based on the family, in which he has grown up . The basis values such as respect, discipline and right behaviour can only be taught by responsible parents. Moreover, a child learns family traditions and religious rituals by observing their elders. For example, during my childhood, I had always followed the footsteps of my parents and grand parents in numerous ways such as white putting on particular clothes according to occasions as well as respectfully treating my guests. Despite the fact that factors external to family have an impact on a child's development, family has the most significant potential to turn a child into a well-behaved adult.

To recapitulate, this essay illustrated that television, friends and music are some of the key factors in the process of a child's development; however, family is the most prominent one among these factors.

Total Words: 280

Task Achievement: 8

Coherence & Cohesion: 8

Lexical resources: 8

Grammar: 8

Overall Score: Band 8.0

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5 Comments
  1. Ahmad 1 year ago

    Some people think that there are external factors affecting children development while others believe that families still have the upper hand in bringing up their children. I think that family still has an important role in bringing up their children.
    There is no doubt that there is new external factors influence children development recently such as the internet, celebrities, and friends. Let’s consider the internet as an example, children spend a lot of time on the internet to watch videos, surf the internet for a piece of information or use the internet to contact their friends. This time spends on the internet may have both negative and positive consequences on child development. In addition, our children may be influenced by their friends, as sometimes children tend to copy their friends that they admire and respect. This could affect them positively like joining football team or negatively by smoking.
    However, it is the family who has the most influence on a child. Children spend nearly most of their time with their parents, especially in their early years. Through this period the child will learn morals, value and his views on life. Parent’s role can be clearly seen in how children behave. As children who have been abused by their parents or treated aggressively, they seem to be mentally unstable compared with their peers. On the other hand, those who are brought up in warm family and the convenient environment end up more confident and secure in life.
    To sum up, the family still has a great influence on their children but they must teach him how to deal with others. As families can’t protect their children all the time and at a certain point, he must deal with the outside world alone.

    • Author

      Dear Ahmad,

      In terms of Task Achievement, you have thought of some good arguments and have also extended them well. Yet you could’ve used some more concrete examples to develop your ideas further.

      The introduction has some repetition of words. Try to eliminate redundant information by using referencing.

      Finally, you need to work on your grammar and word choices.

      I would score this attempt as Band 6.0

      Hope this helps.

      Cheers,
      Atul.

  2. jalal kazi 1 year ago

    the hypothesis is there family plays vital role in the children Life for development, where are the screen that their surroundings are more important to nurture. I agree with this latter on that family matters in everyone life because it shows the right path and give support in every moment.

    In every family drone under people who tasted all the life lessons. children live in this kind of persons shelter would really beneficial for them. they provide right way to live life and suggest than to must have a goal or an ambition in life. Even sometimes children takes us season which causes harmful effect for both socially and personally so experience people provide worth lesson of life before they make such thing. while they are being told an interesting story, they are taught life lesson along with story. for example my pen and always used to tell a story though it was not based on real life. They always gave lesson of life on which day had followed solemnly. Thus, children learn to survive in this world with the help of family.

    family is a powerhouse to everyone people are not motivated as enough nice to see the family time any other they provide it at most support in every matter from mineral decision to choosing career even they are the only one who want that children more successful than them in across the word for instance in India the UPSC exam is the toughest one as well as expensive. Family provides more resources to the their UPSC student, though they are in dilemma to maintain both. in such re the sacrifice their own needs over to built their children prospects.
    In conclusion, family is the foundation of everyone which device them to better prospects and teaches moral values of cultures and tradition.

    • Author

      Dear Jalal,

      The essay has too many mistakes in spellings, basic grammar, sentence structures and word choices. This makes it very hard to understand your ideas.

      You need to practice your grammar daily to improve further. Expose yourself to authentic English for at least 1-2 hours every day. This could be in the form of online English videos, movies, magazines or songs. It does not matter what you read or listen to as long as you are immersing yourself in English.

      Hope this helps.
      Cheers,
      Atul.

  3. Anonymous 1 year ago

    According to group of people, parents has a major role in development of child. While others argue that extenal family factors, such as television, friends and music affecting the children growth. Here, i strongly believe that family have upper hand in children nurturing.
    This essay will explain the both arguement. To begin with, there are several reasons why family has greatest influence on children’s life. One reason is they spend their maximum time with their family at early age.so, They learn the social interaction skill, atiquets, behaviour from their family. The proof of this can be seen from the difference between some children. Moreover, those who grown up in dyfunctional family environment often have problem themselves. While, those that are brought up in healthy and calm atmosphere develop good confidence and secure adult life. On the other hand, there is no doubt that social factor, such as television, friend, and music also give their presence in child nurturing. For example, watching spots game Comptition on television encourage the children to take up the sports. Likewise, friends and music also have some importance in development of child. Friendship taught children to be supportive and trustworthy, whereas music keeps child calm and focused on their studies. To recapitulate, it is appear to me that, family has greatest influence on children’s holistic development by means of teaching how to deal with the problem in outside wolrd.

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