IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer: Countries currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people. Give reasons & suggest way to solve deal with it

IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activity among young people.

Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Model Answer:

In the last decades, juvenile criminality has risen dramatically in numerous parts of the world. In this essay, I will examine some factors contributing to this problem and elicit some steps that can help tackle this issue.

There are several reasons for the increase in  the number of crimes committed by youngsters. Firstly, poverty is the main factor of this trend. Indeed, the poorer an area, the more offences there are. A good illustration of this is the city of Harlem in the United States. This city, which is one of the poorest in America, has the highest number of crimes committed by young people. Secondly, it is also possible to say that consumer-driven society has contributed to the rise of criminality among the most vulnerable persons. In fact, the teenagers tend to want things by hook or by cook. So, if they cannot afford them, they commit petty  crimes like robbery to satisfy their needs.

Nevertheless, solutions are available to tackle this problem. One of the most effective one is to punish  the offenders severely in order to deter them from reoffending . In fact, a recent study in Germany has concluded that, sentencing young criminals to jail has contributed significantly to the decrease of criminal activities. Another possible solution is to educate the young generation. The can be done by adding courses related to values and morals in the school curriculum.

After analysing the most pertinent points of this issue, I have drawn the conclusion that, even though juvenile criminality is a growing global problem mainly caused by poverty and the materialistic society, various means and methods such as jail sentences and education are available to prevent this from deteriorating further.

 

Total Words: 282

Task Achievement: 8

Coherence & Cohesion: 8

Lexical resources: 7.5

Grammar: 6.5

Overall Score: Band 7.5

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